Love You.

YSunday, December 17, 2006.

SATURDAY.

Did my swim re-trial and swam even worse.
I guess there is like no point re-trialling anymore because i am like so not up to it.
Its like mentally i am already not there, don't even need to talk about physically.
I had headache when i was trialling! Goodness.
I'm like so tired of trials and like so tired of meeting my dad's expectations.
Coach even say i was like way too tired.
I was prepared to do even better but my body simply can't take it.
I have been like stressing myself to perform in trials.
ok enough about swim trials.

After that i went for MOL(Magic of Love) that was performed by my senior Pastor, Pastor Lawerence Khong.
I went with Kelvin and Ryan they all(from Delta gym), then apparently met my spiritual brothers and sisters when looking around for seat.
Then we sat together lor.
Bro Nic bought the MOL magic box and it cost like 30bucks so ex. haha
but quite fun la.
The show was like awesome!
I enjoyed the MOL, the costumes that they wore were really very glittery.
There costumes were really very nice.
Pastor and her daughter really looks good.
The MOL was like modified again this year and i think its like better.
More music more singing more professional more entertaining.
And they changed the magic that involves water i guess it is quite wise of them to do that.
All i got to say was it was amazing. It just feels different. I don't feel that it was like i have watch before or what so ever.
I don't know why whenever it come to Priscilla saying about her past i kind of teared again.
I guess is because my relationship with my dad is like no good now and maybe i simply understands how she feels thats why.
After MOL, i took MRT with Alvina, and i went to Orchard to get some stuff and bought myself a top. Quite nice and retro!
Then headed back home and prepared my stuff for today's trial!

SUNDAY.

Had cycling timetrial(40km) today.
The weather was bad today morning, it was like raining!
I just didn't felt good today.
Feel very tired. Like i have been racing for many days like that.
I was just not up to it today.
I was firstly mentally defeated.
Its like before the trial started i knew i wouldn't do well.
What i read from the book "The Ulitmate Ride" was that unless you are a 100% Ready Athlete before your trials then will you do well.
1oo% Ready athlete means that you must be physically and mentally prepared for this trial.
It was quoted "You want to win you can't doubt your abilities"and " unless you are confident of yourself if not you won't perform well".
The mental is very important. And i don't have it before the trials.
I guess coach and i knew that i won't do extremely well today because he knows that i am like tired. Imagine trialling for 4 days haha.
I did slower than Pat and the rest. I did a 1.14.51 and the rest did like 1 min plus faster than me.
Not a good time la but consider i improved because the last time i did i did a 1.17 plus and i cheated. I drafted the last time this time i did not.
Actually i thought it would be cancelled but it went on haha.
I was like just cycling and losing my confidence every moment in the trial.
Oh and i lost my focus too in my first round i was like so distracted with my dad and the pressure that my dad gave and lost my mind, almost like skidded lucky didn't fall haha.
And on the last round i kinda chased a little when i saw Elaine go pass me.
I kept the distance away so i don't think thats consider drafting.
Well i guess at that moment i realised i lost enough time haha.
Got back my focus a little.
Alisa is like back!
Oh and coach felt that my performance is like acceptable today because he understands that i am not in top form today and i still improve.
Well obviously the one who is most unhappy with my results is my dad.
My mum told me that he is dissappointed over me,
which i don't understand why!
I think i am satisfied with my performance this period!
I finally found out that my dad's expectation is harder to meet than my coach's expectation.
And because of my dad pressurising me i guess i lost like 1 kg this week!
Scary! Next week is back to training! Yeah!
No more trials!
Good job Pat you really improved alot on your bike! Getting Scary!
Keep going!
Actually trials is a good thing because we can like taper but i don't like trials now because of my dad's pressure I rather train.
My dad is like so impatient always want something more.
Next week training would be quite boring most of them are going holidays.
Enjoy your hols esp. Pat! haha I'll miss you girl. Take care ah! Better recover form your sick ah!
haha and next tuesday i wanna go shopping and relax since i not going holidays this year!
I can sleep with peace now! And take a short break and get on my toes again!

loves;
2:41 PM